do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
