omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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