Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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