He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
