"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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