what if every blade of grass was a penis?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
