"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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