Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
