When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It's official drugs can't kill me
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
