Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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