I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
