It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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