He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
