How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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