Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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