Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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