I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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