So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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