Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Is it because I queefed?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
