Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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