I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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