it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
