This dress was meant to end up on your floor
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
