She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize