Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
