That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
