Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
As shirtless as possible
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
