I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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