Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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