is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
