I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
