i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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