I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
