Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I want to walk on stilts...naked
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
