It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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