She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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