I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
