question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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