All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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