when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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