i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
