Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
