I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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