I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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