my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
