my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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