there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
