he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
