another moral hangover. fuck.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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