just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
