Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do you still have your period?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
