i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
40s are totally the cure
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
