Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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