i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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