well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
