dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
