Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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