Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
