Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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