Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
