p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
